This world is not for me. I feel violated, used, mentally abused, scared, and unloved. I have no job, I have no children, I really have no home. All I have is my computer and my video game. The game is the only thing keeping me sane. I bounce around from place to place. I don't get all g with my mother be side she's always rude to me.. I may possibly have cancer but doctors don't even tell me. I'm not fighting for anything.. All I want is a job and a home and my game. My first ex ruined me. He broke up with me 2 years ago on Facebook of all things, and ended it.. 4 years.. 4 fkin years. To be with someone who just turned 18 at the time and they only lasted a month. It took me these 2 years to get over him. But seriously emotionally torn. I have sooooo much love to give and all that keeps happening to me is people messing with my head and people trying to break me. I've had failed suicide attempts in the past and stopped because I figured it wasn't worth it.. Now I think I just may have changed my mind.