i need support more than ever

what do you mean by you "killed" it? most miscarriages happen with no fault of ANYONE.

maybe i shouldnt have used that word, but if i would have known i was prego than maybe it wouldnt have happend, bcuz ive been smoking pot and drinking and smoking and what not, if i would have been taking care of myself than id still be with child. i blame myself

I don't think you need to beat yourself up over that... you didn't know... but maybe now is a good time to look at that kind of stuff in your life and make some choices?? are you ready to be a mom? if you want to keep doing some of that stuff it might be a good idea to get birth control... or if you are really ready to get yoru body healthy and your life ready for a baby then maybe start phasing that stuff out??

I agree with Jessica C. Being a mom starts months before you even conceive. You need to prepare your body for the baby to have a good healthy environment. I also had a miscarriage many moons ago and it still hurts especially now that I can't get pregnant. Don't blame yourself it will only make you feel worse. If anything, learn from this and know that you know better now. I send good thoughts & please know that there are a lot of us here to support you. You will have your ups and downs. Just know that no matter what happens from this day forward you need to take care of yourself and provide the best environment to that baby physically, emptionally and spiritually. Take care.....

I had a miscarriage last year. It was horrible. I (also trying for a while) hadn't been able to get pregnant with a previous partner. I didn't know I was pregnant until I was almost 11 1/2 weeks! Miscarriages are more common than people think. There are many things that cause them. Give yourself time to heal and then start trying again. Have you tried charting your BBT (Basal Body Temperature), cervical mucus, etc? www.fertilityfriend.com <--- They give you tutorials on how to do everything. It's a wonderful site. Always remember, it WILL happen when it is meant to happen! The worse thing to do is stress yourself out about it. Check that site out, I'm almost positive it will help you. I have been in your shoes and it is horrible. I wish you the best of luck. *Hugs*

I totally agress with Jessica too, I'm so sorry you are blaming yourself for that but it wasn't your fault that happened, Sometimes miscarriages happen to good people for no reason at all. I had 2 and it was horrifying for me. I blamed myself at first too but when my dr explained that it happens for no reason I kinda felt better. My heart goes out to you losing a child is so hard and heartbreaking.

Rochell

thank you all very much for your concerns and *hugs* i was very upset and crying last time i was on here and i know now that it realy wasnt my fault, but anyway me and my fiance are still trying and i have cut back ALOT on the parting and whatnot... i will def. visit that site beachgirl thank you idk if ive been to that one or not, ive checked out alot of them, lol and yeah ive tryed charting my BBT and ive taken firtility pills and tests also, basicly ive done it all but get my eggs checked.. it may come to that one day but for now im not worried, im just having fun trying, lol. thanks again,