i feel so dirty and disgusting

erg 6 showers and i broke a mirror :( now im goin to have seven years of bad luck ontop of a crappy life.........and im wasting water im hurting the earth all because im having a fit and i cant seem to feel clean .......its not even dirt its just a feeling something is on me and it wont come off...... im starting to try and scratch it off im scared ........... its getting worse

I remember doing this. Like no matter how long you stand under the water, or hard you scrub, that feeling just won't go away at all. It's like the same shivering shuttering feeling like when a bug touches you. Even when it's not touching you anymore, you can still feel it and it's squeamish.

I don't know how to rid of this feeling, I just know that in time it subsides. It comes back sometimes for me but I think that's normal. Regardless, you mentioned that you are having a lot of flashbacks and horrible thoughts so it makes sense that you will feel that dirty feeling right now. So, since the feeling is coming from those thoughts, is it possible to start working on changing the thoughts? I know the memories don't disappear and they are what they are. Maybe try to distract yourself for a little. Play a computer or video game or read...whatever works for you. Maybe even write some alternative positive things to tell yourself. Instead of focusing on how dirty you FEEL, maybe tell yourself how clean you actually are. Your sense of physical dirtiness is really just your feelings of dirtiness and feelings can't be washed or scrubbed away...just changed. I know this is way easier said than done.

i know thats how i feel all the time it really hurts and upsets me feel like braking down and crying feel dirty worthless and everything else under the sun im here for you it happend to me two years ago... :{