I almost did it...

I am sorry he has hurt you this way, it always hurt when you give yourself completely to someone and they just throw away what you give them. Its not your fault, he is not worth it and you deserve better. Try to stop being so hard on yourself, you are a beautiful person and remember that God does not make garbage, you are way better than you give yourself credit for. You will get through this and you will be stronger because of it.

Beautiful Struggle,

I have been where you are, right about now it seems as though there isn't anything that will take the pain away except ending it all... So untrue. He isn't worthy of being the reason you don't get to go on with your life and experience true happiness. When I was 16 I got pregnant and my "boyfriend" who took my virginity and got me pregnant refused to speak to me. In MI it was against the law to have an abortion without my parents consent... My mother lived across the country and my father was extremely over protective and at times abusive. I had enough, I wanted to end it all. But a failed attempt saved me from not having all the blessings in life I've had up til this point. Yes my life is far from perfect but seeing that all things can turn around if you let them is enough. Years from now you could be with the man of your dreams, living in your dream house, with adorable children, dogs, fish, or whatever you prefer... :) All I'm saying is that if you end your life now it won't even have a chance to get better. I wish you all the best and I truly hope you will stay with us here on earth and not let that jerk win.
-Love Sarah

You have no idea how much this post meant to me. I really want to find some place to live on my own once I graduate. I'm planning on getting training at a nursing home and working there. I want to get a puppy and just be me and my dog... I think if I don't try to look for the "perfect" guy for me, then in time he will come... Is that stupid to want to pretty much distance myself for a while by living on my own?

Not at all, we all have that want at some point. I dreamed of it when I was living with my parents, 5 years later I'm on my own and don't have to worry about that crap. Keep making it through the day, and you might want to look for the breed of dog that you want. Might give you something to take your mind off of it

There's no better way to word it, SarahLeah12.
Life has so much in store for us all, the good as well as the bad and it's all worth it.
I know this feels exactly like the end of the/your world, like you're imprisoned in all these horrible feelings and you look through the prison bars up at a faraway blue sky. Sometimes all you need to do is turn around and see the prison door is wide open and you can just walk right out!
You have now the chance to experience a different kind of freedom - one without your boyfriend but with yourself:
I really understand how you feel and that it seems impossible to look at it and see that this is just another bump on the road, one that you can overcome and that some day you will look back on and realize it made you stronger, made you understand more about yourself and life.
But I think if you can be so unhappy about a relationship ending what that says about you most is that you are a really wonderful person because you are capable of immense love and trust and caring!
Hold on to that!
I have been where you are and I promise you there will be better times and you can always hold on to those once you're in a freefall phase again! :)

thats right. You are a woman and the only man you ever needed well he was your dad and helped create you and here you are! For me to say you are beautiful is also to allow me to say you are ugly and what right do I have to that??? Don't let ppl complement you, it's debasing really. You can go overseas and teach English no problem n degree, go to school in another state you can do it. Join any religious group I became Muslim and wow no shortage of men looking to get married and Muslim marriages are simple and quick lol. and how about helping some other sisters on this board like I feel you. How about helping at least one other person on this forum today like her?

http://acne.supportgroups.com/sg/acne/people-with-no-filter