Regarding your forgiveness for cheating, it is yours and only your decision. If you meant that he hit you physically, then you should think several times before you forgive this person. Never let anyone to hurt you emotionally, much less let him hurt you physically. Take care of yourself. God bless you.

If he did it once he will do it again. Abuse is abuse, but physical abuse he needs to seek help immediately. I pray you would consider investing in yourself. Find out the reason you wanted to console him, after an act violence. Sometimes, separating is a good thing inorder to clear your head and he has time to reflect on his actions. I wish you all the luck, continue to put yourself first.

from reading your story, I see some similarities to mine. If he feels relationship is based on conversation, then you guys must try to do whatever it takes to have that for this relationship to survive. He will cheat again, it will probably be him able to find good conversation with someone else, which can turn into sex. So work on those conversations, those connections that are lacking in your relationship. Talk about your past good times, or go out and explore new places so you can have more things, more memories to talk about. Yet, pay attention to his interests, and those can be conversations.

Still, if this relationship turn abusive, if your needs aren't paid attention to by him, don't just stay and only feed his needs, it's not healthy for you and the relationship, it'll build resentment. Please take care of yourself and not allow someone you love to physically you.

Thank you everyone for your feedback. It's true that he hit me physically with intent. Sometimes we would spar to practice self-defense which usually surfaces as blocking hits from martial arts stances. Additionally, we would roughhouse in general for fun however in that instance, there was a different intent which threw me off guard and not ready when the hit connected. It was likely that I was not expecting the hit since I was absorbed in another conversation and sobering up from the wine so when he called my name, I was not expecting the punch to connect with my lower lip. After a month, there is a raised scar on the inside of my lip to remind me of the incident but no one else can see it.

My boyfriend showed remorse from the incident since he never thought he could ever hurt a girl, especially me. Since then, he's made steps to avoid repeating those mistakes such as avoiding most drinking situations, restricting his drinking at inescapable social meetings to an amount that we both agreed cannot get him drunk, remaining active in communication, and being upfront and honest with whatever is on our minds. Over the course of 2 weeks, I am amazed how much our relationship improved. We still spar every now and then but whenever I call him out on any hits that I feel are triggering me, he will immediately stop which I appreciate.

I do worry that he may become this abusive person that is seen with the stereotypical domestic abuser but I don't see it and this is coming from someone who has researched this topic for several years. Honestly, I am more afraid of him cheating on me again. He promised not to do it again which I believed him because the conversation he held with his cousin was powerful enough for him to make these active changes and maintain it. It doesn't quite keep my mind at ease though since it still is a recent event that repeats in my mind.

Jade, you may want to think about getting some counseling for yourself. hitting you AND then cheating on you NUMEROUS times are all forms of abuses/battering/disrespect.

so instead of hitting you, now he cheats on you, do you see the pattern? sorry honey, but this is not a healthy relationship and your forgiving him is called "codependency". as someone told you earlier, it will only get worse. he is taking advantage of your good nature. just because he says "i'm sorry" doesn't mean that anything has changed.