Feel like I'm dying

I'm sorry you are in pain and miss him so much....it sounds like you still love him very much. I admire you for trying to move on...even dating. But as long as we are in love with someone from our past, we have very little for the future. We can't help it either. We are still grieving over what use to be...I'm here if you need me or need to talk. I'm praying for you hun..

Hi cindymomof2,
I wish I had an easy answer for you. I am in the same boat. Really feel like physically I am doing OK but mentally not so much. I really loved my husband. He feels he never really loved me the way he should love a wife and def. no longer has feelings for me. I was with him for 17yrs. It really sux. Especially because I have to see him at all the kids drop offs and pick ups.
Totally sux. I do not know what advice to offer...I am just trying to keep busy, counseling, friends, family and now i am joining a divorce support group tht meet every week for 15 weeks. I am hoping that will help some.
Sometimes it hurts to swallow when I think of my stbx. I never expected this and still cannot believe tht he does not love me and is in love with a woman 16 yrs younger than him.

Thats what makes this so hard is that he says he still loves me,he just cant deal with my attitude.We went thru alot in the last 14 yrs,i wasnt the best wife.Now im ready to change but its too late cause he has a gf.It really hurts that he could move on so easily.I dread the weekends when he comes to get the kids,it kills me to see him.It feels like i will never get over this.

Hi cindynmomof2.I also in same boat.Married 15 years to my wife and she says she loves me but not in love with me.She has met someone else and fallen in love with him.What makes this even harder is she works in same building as him,so for a while when we were trying to work it out for my Son,i had to watch her walk out the door to go to work knowing he there.The pain is like nothing felt before.I FINNALY came to conclusion one person cant love another without mutual feeling.I now have own apt. but battle depression and anxiety every day.Only advise i can give is try focus on kids and love who you are or are becoming.Like u i was not greatest husband in world and kinda blame myself.Now JUST STARTING to like myself again but know its a long road.I go to therapy and seems to help a little.Trick is casting out all demons from past and just be happy to wake up and thank God for childrens health.Tryin teach my Son not to make same mistakes i did.Good luck an i can tell u the hurt does get less and less over time as long as u dont let ur depression get the upper hand.

Hi, are you doing better these days? Even a little ...

Hi cindymomof2, I hope things get better for you. I do know thing can get really rough, DONT GIVE UP!!!My throught are with you.

Monica

Hi Cindy. I am so sorry for your pain but it will get better. The pain over time will be less severe and you may even find yourself smiling every once in a while.

I joined a support group a while back that met for 15 weeks and I am hoping you've joined the same group I did. Trust me, it helps so much. We would study a different topic each week - everything from depression to getting thru the holidays, feelings of being alone and how to deal with them, etc.

The best part though was meeting 15 people all going thru the same thing and now we even plan outings on Fridays in addition to our Monday night meetings. And we're all on call for each other,meaning when we are so down all we do is cry, we know we can call our leader and/or each other. Don't push the pain aside but work thru it so you can heal. I promise you WILL heal but if you're like me, you wanted to heal overnight and it doesn't work that way.

As far as you and anyone else who has to still see their ex because of kids, etc. wow! I cannot be in the same room with my ex, I can't hear his voice or anything. The few times we've had to communicate because of some joint bills we're each paying on I text him. I"ve told him never to call me because I can't stand the sound of his voice when in reality I love hearing his voice and it hurts too much. But he'll never know that!

Keep posting, we're all here for you and you WILL get thru this! : )