Crushing

hi-i'm new here and this is the first time posting to someone-i'm so sorry for the way you're feeling but it breaks my heart to hear you talk about dying-there is every reason to fight that feeling-you can beat it. too often we don't give ourselves enough credit and underestimate just how strong we are. i too think about giving in from time to time-but i try to think of the people who love me and how much it would hurt them. i'm sorry that you're having problems at home-but dying is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. i am a mother of three and i know that i speak for millions of other mothers when i beg you please please don't do anything to hurt yourself. there are always alternatives and choices. you've already made the smart choice by reaching out for help. as i said i am new here but i already feel better just knowing that i'm not alone and there are people out there who care. don't give up hope-ever.

People keep saying that I have reasons to live but I keep finding less and less reasons to stay alive. I have four months until I start college and they can't pass by fast enough. I don't know if I'll make it that long.

I think it can be very hard to see the silver lining in life when everything around you is so dark. I hope you are okay. I feel the same way right now. I would really love to just grab a bottle of pills and swallow them all, but I don't know that I could do that. Have you spoken with a crisis counsellor or anything like that? To tell you to keep your head up and stay strong right now is kind of like "the blind leading the blind" (or some other cheesy cliche), but I hope that things pick up for you.

Good luck :)

I am so very sorry to hear how much pain you are in! I often wonder how I made it through high school to college. I had a sibling who constantly mentally and physically abused me terribly. Also, he would get people at school in all grades to call me names, put nasty letters in my locker, tell me I was the biggest loser in the world, and punch me when he was angry. (Which was quite frequent!) I stood with pills in my hand many times, but could not do it. I don't know how awful things are for you, but I pray you do whatever you have to to stay alive. Sometimes we become so withdrawn that we can't even think of anyone we can trust to talk to. Please call a crisis counselor or keep posting and instant messaging here until you're safe. Look how many people here care for you! I just joined this site because I have been thinking about ending it all myself! I have a chronic illness and lost many friends. I do have an amazing sister and mom that I promised I would hold on because I don't want them to hurt. I know hurt and i don't want them to feel it! I promise I will support you if you want it? Please just let me know. By the way, I love Seether! Please hold on to whatever you can!