I have to sleep, but I don't want to. My emotions are most active at night when everything's quiet and the hustle of the day is over. I just like to sit with my thoughts without worrying about anything else.

I want to sleep but can't. My mind races too much and takes me down roads that I shouldn't go down. I lie there and just think. Not a good thing for me to do.

I know the feeling, that's why I don't even bother trying to sleep. I just float through each thought and fantasy until somehow I drift off into actual dreams.

Wish that i could do that. My mind goes down different roads and the destinaation is never someplace I want to go.

Yeah it's not easy controlling your mind. I think mine controls me more than I like to admit. By the way, what's with all these ads? Really annoying.

Happens sometimes. I try just to ignore them. Don't need another frustration in my life.

Good to keep things positive. I've always been a pessimist, so I get easiy irritate by things. Still trying to work on that.

I find that the things that bother me are the things that I think that I should be able to control. Or the things that pop up when I am trying to do something for someone else and it doesn't go the way that I had planed.

I too feel like that, but in the end, I feel that some things are not meant to be in my control. I struggle so hard to do my best in things, to prevent things from falling apart or going wrong. But the harder I try, the more life tends to crumble away. So now I don't put much effort into it as I used to, it just seems pointless. Why overstress myself if things aren't going to work out anyway?

Then what is the point of what we do. What difference does it make if we don't put in the effort or worse yet don't care. Where is the reason to go on. I'm not trying to be mean just asking the questions that i continually ask myself.

I don't think it's mean at all. I think it's a really important question, if not the most important question, everyone should ask themselves. I haven't figured out a reason for going on yet, and I've pondered and thought about it each day of my life. Maybe what's lacking is exploring life by just trying things out. There is so much we don't know, partly because we don't make the effort to know, so how can we find an answer if we don't constantly search for it? Maybe there is no answer, and we're just meant to forever pursue a dream that we can never reach.

I could probably accept that if I wasn't in so much mental and emotional pain. I could deal with the pursuit if I just didn't hurt so much. As it is I just want the pain to end.

It will if you want it to.

I wish it were that simple.

Things aren't supposed to be simple, but we can simplify them if we want.

im always up all night too...seems when its late and its quiet thats when our demons come out..I find myself not being able to get out of my head alot too..generally ill always be up late if you ever wanna talk...whats up goat...why are u stressed? if its not too straight forward to ask...

also to djinnc..anything particular stressing ya out?

Hi Inadequate, life's just not going the way I hoped it would, and frankly, my options are pretty limited to change it.

I sure know how that feels..life never really goes the way we planned..then it just seems to be like quicksand the more u try and struggle the more u just keep sinking..then u look around and there isnt really any way to change your situation...pretty much where I am..i decided to be honest with the people around me...throw everything on the table regardless of what I thought it would do or how they would handle it...im not sure if it will help..but the status quo is no longer acceptable..not alot I can change per say but I can make people aware of what I think and feel..then see how they respond to that...

Yeah, I definitely wish I could lay everything out on the table. The problem is I'm not so sure myself what problems I do have. My thoughts and convictions change from moment to moment. Sometimes I'm so sure of myself, and others I feel just the opposite. I have identified some recurring themes, but I can't seem to get to the core of the problem. Hopefully with therapy, I'll be able to find some answers.

I definitely would do that..something that helped me is writing..keep a journal, write how u feel, why u feel that way..and do it all the time..Ill wrote pages..then every week or so read thru it..see if there are similar things, triggers...try n get a bead on it..I found it gave me some insight into myself and helped me get some perspective..

That's what I've been doing, and it is helpful to vent the inner turmoil on the written page. Hope all is well with you and Happy Thanksgiving.

i did not sleep whole night. my eyes are burning. 10am

im glad it worked goat...writing helps me alot..whats wrong unknown...talk about it...

its selfish relations that hurt me. i close my eyes but their voices start ringing in my mind. i just want to erase my memory

Well this is a good place to get it off ur chest...good people in here...

its hard to get it off chest

Hi unknown, I'm glad you've considered talking about stuff here. Feel free to say what you feel and what you're going through. We're all here to lend each other support and learn a bit more about ourselves in the process.

yes we are..im beginning to think i just have a problem relating to people now, that im just not a real pleasant person to be around, my brother, my parents none of em really talk to me...i beat my addiction a couple years ago and they still see me as a druggie, and thatll never change, once you think a way about someone..and since I never did relapse and I have been clean years I wont tolerate being accused..so we dont talk much..so im just pissing everyone off..im so frusterated

Sorry to hear that. It seems like trust has to be rebuilt on both sides, so don't blame yourself if they're unwilling to change their perspectives. Really, they don't know what it's like going through what you've been through. Maybe you could try explaining how you feel and hopefully they'll listen.

ive done alot of explaining..really opening up to them all ad telling them exactly how I feel, why i feel that way, what im looking for and how I think it can be better, every time i tell someone I love how I feel it is completely misinterpreted and used as ammo against me..almost as if they dont read it or hear it at all and end up angrier...its like they listen but dont hear, and I never ever get the result im looking for..i try to tell the wife I want to be more to her.I want to emotionally and physically connect more with her, not just have sex, that i see her so enjoying these crazy stories and want to incorporate it into us, for her to share with me her sexual awakening and really open up to me and instead she gets iupset and says fine ill stop reading, now we sit there and both miserable and not connecting and she says why are u still mad I stopped reading?? well it didnt change anything..anytime I try to tell my parents or family why im upset about something they dismiss it and say well ur messed up on drugs..when they know damn well im not but my feelings dont matter, they just sh how unstable im sounding...and I get were worried u sound like u did before..so in reality every time I actually say what i think or feel..it gets worse..

That is a tough situation. Is there a way for you to prove yourself to them? I know that you shouldn't have to, but maybe that's all they need to get over your past. Discussing these issues with a therapist can help, since you'll be making strides to fix these problems. Keep addressing the issue. The more you focus on it, the closer you'll be to finding a solution.

i dont really know what more I can do..